I can’t remember the last time I wrote something positive about the Chicago Cubs. I can’t, I seriously can’t. This team has been one of the most pitifully mediocre clubs in all of Major League Baseball since the All-Star break, and they make me want to (responsibly) claw at my eyeballs with used kitchen shears.

They have been about as bland as a rice cake in a pile of oatmeal, and last night’s game against the Toronto Blue Jays was NO DIFFERENT. This team was curb stomped by our neighbors to the north, to the point where frustrations began to boil over for some of the Cubs’ brightest starts…

The Cubs offense is frustrated tonight in Toronto. pic.twitter.com/OpOBNkU0MH

— Marquee Sports Network (@WatchMarquee) August 13, 2025

It was just a grotesque experience all around, headlined by the return of SP Javier Assad to the mound. Javy, who has been on the 60-day injured list with a left-oblique strain, did not have the greatest outing in his first start back with the club. He finished the night giving up four runs on four hits in four innings of work, while only striking out two Blue Jays in the process.

A bit expected, if we’re being honest. The man was out for almost a year dealing with this oblique issue. He was bound to have some sort of hiccup in his first start back from injury. But for the offense to only muster up ONE RUN of support for Assad this evening? That’s inexcusable.

It’s just absolutely ridiculous. This team was a TOP-5 OFFENSE for a majority of this year. They were one of the most FEARED teams in the entire league. And now? You have this from last night;

Seiya Suzuki: 0-5, 2 Ks
Kyle Tucker: 0-3
Pete Crow-Armstrong: 0-4, 1 K
Nico Hoerner: 0-4

This team just continues to tumble down the division, now sitting 7.5 games behind the Milwaukee Brewers (as of writing this). They have officially turned chicken salad into chicken shit, and to be honest…..I don’t know what else they can do to fix this. Could it be an Owen Caissie promotion? A spa-day with the boys? Or maybe an ayahuasca retreat like Aaron Rodgers does?

Either way…..something needs to happen, because I’m SICK of what this team has become. But in the end, as always…..what do I know? I’m just a guy from the Midwest, with a beer and a laptop, trying to make sense of this world.